What I didn't know before I got pregnant

You would think in the age of so much information and resources we would know a lot about pregnancy. In my experience, often that is not the case. Simply put, if it doesn't affect you-you simply don't care.

Pregnancy, like any other experience, is different for all of us. We hear a lot of things people go through when they are pregnant but sometimes we learn from personal experience.

Here are some of the things I didn't know until my oven-baked.

*Morning sickness is not literal. Look, I was very shocked to learn that one can have morning sickness all day long and all night long. I did not expect that I would be nauseous and vomiting at odd hours of the day. It is called morning sickness because it commonly happens in the morning.

*That hormones make pregnant women produce excess saliva. The phenomenon is called ptyalism. I always carried a bottle of water with me that I used to spit all that saliva in. It made me nauseous.

*That pregnant woman can eat whatever they want if it is well cooked and not excessive. Growing up all heard was pregnant people can't eat this and that all the time. This included oranges, only to find out that oranges are very good for us.

*Eating for two is not necessary. While it is true that a pregnant woman's appetite and cravings change during pregnancy due to the foetus requiring nourishment, there is no reason to eat if you are not hungry. My midwife once said to me, remember you can eat for two, but you will lose the weight alone-guess what, I am doing exactly that.

*Pica-When crave non-food stuff. I always knew that pregnant people often eat weird combinations of food due to cravings and hormones but I was shocked when I wanted to eat a candle in my first pregnancy. I mean some candles smell good but to a point where one wants to eat it? I felt like an alien (Hahaha). I also didn't know that this often indicated a deficiency of either minerals or vitamins.

*That foetal movements get painful towards the end. When my baby fluttered for the first time, I was overjoyed. I think most of us love the experience because it's another confirmation that there is indeed something growing inside you. With my second pregnancy, I was so sick in my first trimester that it felt like I was sick for nothing. When I felt those flutters, I was excited. I knew at some point I would have a love and hate relationship with the movements though.

*Braxton Hicks-This is when the womb contracts and relaxes and is often described as false or practice labour pains. I had these in my first pregnancy in the third trimester weeks before I delivered but did not experience them at all in my second pregnancy.

*Pregnancy feels long. This is dependent on each person but for me, both my pregnancies felt 10 years long. People were always asking me when the baby would be born and that made the feeling worse. It annoyed me to the core, especially in that last month that feels like 3 months. I think that at the end of my first pregnancy, I suffered a mild depression as it felt long, and because I was overdue it was even worse.

*That I could get so many UTI's in a few months. Everyone who ever had a Urinary Tract infection knows how annoying it is. I got so many during the first pregnancy I wanted to cut off my genitals. But it's common during this time because the foetus puts pressure on the bladder and urinary tract. This traps bacteria or causes urine to leak. I now think of myself as an expert in treating UTIs, I have probably had 3 in the last 5 years.

*Explosive farting- Why doesn't anyone warn us of this? In my first pregnancy, I was in a store with headphones on and farted thinking that it is a silent fart. A few seconds later everyone was starring at me and some moving away from me, at that time I was not even showing yet. As much as farting is normal, I was embarrassed. In my second pregnancy, my partner had to spray the room a few times because the smell was bad.

*Obsession with baby stores-Sometimes I believe I was acting weird because I would spend a lot of time looking at the baby clothes at baby stores and always ended up wasting money on all those cute clothes.

*How difficult naming a person can be-My name is beautiful, Gaopalelwe, you aren't defeated is the closest I can get to translating it. I don't about you, but I had an entire list of names with my first pregnancy. I took this exercise so seriously. It was easier the second time, I asked my partner for unique names and he said one that was like someone I knew, and I loved it.

*A birth plan-I was so confused by this, I just thought you get pregnant and just show up at a hospital to give birth until someone said I needed to do regular clinic check-ups and do a birth plan. The process was frustrating in my first pregnancy because I was unemployed I couldn't afford the birth plan I wanted, you simply cannot dot down your preferences to a public hospital. With my second it was easy, I knew I wanted a home birth and I searched for midwives, I had extensively researched when I was pregnant with my first, so I had an idea of what I wanted. Here is a birth plan guide: https://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/how-to-create-a-birth-plan#1

Here is a printable birth plan South Africans can use: https://www.news24.com/parent/pregnant/pregnancy_journey/getting_ready/print-it-birth-plan-20101105

*How my libido would increase. OMG, guys, I was so horny in both pregnancies in the second trimester. I know people who don't even want to think of sex when they were pregnant. But as for me the amount of porn I binged on was hilarious. I found out during my first pregnancy that this was completely normal.

*How amazing sex during pregnancy would be, when I had increased libido in my second-trimester sex felt better than it was before pregnancy, it was like I am on some aphrodisiac. I wanted to devour this man.

*Deep sleep-I have slept deeply before in my life, but I never knew I could sleep deeper than I have in the past. In the first trimester, I would pass out and forget I had passed out, I did not even dream. I would still wake up tired though (hahaha)

*That fathers can experience pregnancy symptoms. I did not have such an experience during both my pregnancies. A lot of other people say they did. Some fathers gain weight and experience mood swings.

*That a lot of what I knew about pregnancy were myths. It is fascinating how myths spread way more than facts. Throughout my first pregnancy, the entire process just felt like an unlearning exercise. When you thought you have unlearned something, another myth is thrown at you.

*Pregnancy became my life and changed everything. It makes you change your life and all aspects of it. I couldn't stay with certain people I had been living with within the first pregnancy because I was pregnant. I stayed with my friend for a while but due to her space being small not having enough room I had to move back home. Pregnancy is like the first induction on how parenting will be.

*How risky pregnancy is for the mother- We often worry about the safety of a foetus because it is growing into a human and is fragile. But it was pregnancy and the experiences of many others that taught me how risky pregnancy is for the pregnant mother. When you are pregnant, many people ask, "how is the baby?". It was an eye-opener for me to learn how much I was at risk of developing conditions and experiencing complications, which can be fatal or change my life altogether.

Pregnancy is draining, both emotionally, physically, and psychologically so it takes a lot from the mother, hence foetuses are often linked to parasites, some people have high-risk pregnancies and need so much care. I learned to be more helpful and empathic to myself and others who are pregnant. This is my most treasured piece of knowledge.

I hope you enjoyed these, do let me know in comments what you didn't know until you were pregnant. I am looking forward to engaging with you.